Let's get verbal

Don’t be lulled into a false sense of security now the ex-President of the USA has been booted from Twitter. Things still get wild over on the 140-characters-only-or-it-looks-like-an-essay-and-engagement-drops-exponentially app. For instance, I write very long threads based off of my lived experience as a bisexual escort in London. And, in an even wilder development, I share them here too. All under the guise that I would hate for anyone to miss out on my ramblings purely because they live life away from the tweety bird site. 

Below I have copied and pasted a thread borne out of my thoughts around communication with your play partner(s) during sex. As a bisexual, I’ve noticed a distinct difference between men and women in the ways they verbalise when things get frisky - and I think that working on normalising saying what we want, and normalising ways of asking our partner what they enjoy, can only ever heighten our experience in between the sheets. And hopefully, if even only a few of us actively commit to more open communication, it could have a ripple effect that does wonders for setting all of our sex lives on a more fulfilling, satisfying path. 

THE THREAD: 

While copulatory vocalisations are - of course- arousing (who doesn’t love hearing their partner moan with pleasure?), I’m referring specifically here to the skillful art of verbalisation.

During a recent rendezvous, a new suitor of mine said - rather bashfully - mid-entanglement ‘actually, would you mind…’ It’s ironic that I’m struggling to find words for how much of a turn-on that is.

As a bisexual that adheres to the horny stereotype, I’ve amassed a fair amount of sexual data over the years. And this instance reminded me that it is rare (in my experience) for men to verbalise during sex in the same way that women do.

When entwined with a woman or non-binary person, I’ve found communication to be a lot more open. Not only checking in before penetration or different touch, but also talking throughout with your partner(s) about what feels good, what doesn’t, and what you’d like to try.

Every body gets off differently. We are complex and our desires are complex. They evolve and fluctuate over time.

You articulating what I can do in that moment to get you off, rather than relying solely on guesswork from your body language and how you respond to my own questions, is titillating for me.

I’ve noticed during bookings, when asking my date how something feels, or whether they want more or less, or for me to change what I’m doing, can sometimes be met with a look of confusion or embarrassment. Or even a mixture of both.

As if verbally acknowledging that we are participating in naked gymnastics together ruins the moment, or makes it awkward and clunky. This is not the case at all. But it is something you need to practice at in order for it to feel more natural.

Incorporating communication into your play sessions heightens the experience ten-fold. At least. None of us need to be condemned to never-ending breathless silence during romping sessions, exercising our vocal chords only once we engage in pillow talk.

How much more satisfying will it be to know that you gave your partner exactly what they asked for? As well as giving them space to articulate if they want to try out something new, that they may have feel too shy to speak about without a prompt?

And trust me, asking your partner how they want to be fucked by you - and telling them how you want to be fucked back - is an unparalleled level of hotness. Let’s talk about (and during) sex, baby.

END

tallhazel